Dan Abrams’ Websites Today

Oh, dear: Mediaite reports that Mark Halperin made the unfortunate choice to call President Obama a “dick” on Morning Joe. Maybe he got confused and thought he was still at home, yelling at the TV? Either way he’s been suspended. Get the full post here.

OMG OMG OMG! Geekosystem has a story on dentists learning to practice on patients by operating on sex dolls instead. This is already weird, but OH, THE VIDEO! See it here.

In other horrifying teeth news, Styleite has a clip from “Toddlers and Tiaras” with a pageant mom who bleaches her moneymakers’ children’s teeth every week. Every week, ladies and gentlemen. To watch the clip, click here.

Sportsgrid makes the case for excluding straight players from gay recreational sports teams. Read it here.

Oof. Gossip Cop reports that Jonathan Rhys Meyers had to be treated for an overdose of prescription pills, in what may have been an attempted suicide. Be well! Get the full post here.

The Mary Sue counts down 7 up and coming female comedy writers. To see the full list, click here.

On Mogulite: breaking! A mysterious stranger who banks at an East Hampton Capital One location has a checking account with a balance of over $100 million. Read the results of the investigation here.